Sunday, April 22, 2012

Heavy hearts

Last night my step mother passed away. My heartaches for her family but mostly for my dad. He's such an awesome person and an even better dad. I can honestly say that comforting a parent in a time of despair is probably the worst things ive ever had to do. I feel so incompetent, I can't do anything for him except mourn with him. I found out last night that she had passed away. I was so shocked I couldn't even call or text my dad. I just woke up way early and drove home. Longest drive of my life and most peaceful. As I pulled in to the drive way, my dad was walking to the door (talk about good timing). I pulled in, turned off my car, and walked towards him. All I could do was hug him and tell him I'm sorry. As we hugged, we just cried. Seeing him sad puts knots in my stomach and tears in my eyes. I worry for him. But I have great siblings and Charlotte has an amazing family also. I don't know what comes after death. But I hope you'll be able to watch over my dad. I never gave you the respect you deserved. I know it's to late now, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being a bratty teenager. I'm sorry for never saying hi when I came home or saying bye when I left. I'm sorry for not opening up to you. I'm sorry for not being more helpful. I'm sorry that I was too stubborn to allow you into my life. I'm sorry for never texting you back. I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. I think a good person is someone that keeps trying to open up and be someone's friend even when the other person won't. In all sincerity, Charlotte, thank you for everything. May you rest in peace.

1 comment:

  1. Well said... I know all of us are feeling some regret right now. I'm sure she new that you secretly cared about her! I'm so happy you were there for your dad right at the perfect moment... priceless