Thursday, September 26, 2013

That time again?

here Please, please, please tell me i'm not the only abnormal person... that always thinks about death.  It's a sore in my mouth that I can't leave alone. It's my roommates alarm that I can vaguely hear in the mornings, just enough to wake me but not loud enough to disturb me completely. 
Maybe it's because my birthday is tomorrow, and I dread nothing more than growing up. But, I can't shake the thought of dying or worse... losing people I love. Isn't that the most horrible thing ever? Loving something and inevitably knowing they'll be gone. I guess this shouldn't be a big deal and all, because I can't do a thing about it. But, it's bothering me more so than ever. It's making me become agitated with people and myself. I don't like it. And I hope it passes soon. 

It has been a recurring question, and you think that it would get easier to answer. But its never been easy for me to answer. I have a mini melt down when I'm forced to answer it.
So, for the sake of reassurance that I do in fact enjoy things, i need to put my mind at ease.
... I like reading, I love it actually. My favorite places and people are in a paper back novel on my shelf.
I like writing. I've never been anything close to a verbal person. I even find myself stuttering over words sometimes and when I try to explain something to someone, it never makes sense.
I like film cameras anything more and i'm not as amused. 
I like when I have nothing to do during the day, and I can do anything or nothing, if I please.
I like traveling. Secretly, I think its my best favorite because I'm usually with Scott.
I like being wrong. It forces me to be right. 
I like animals. A lot!
I like memorizing poems, camping, rock climbing, music...
I guess I could go on all day. But i'll stop. 

Unable are the Loved to die
For Love is Immortality,
Nay, it is Deity—

Unable they that love—to die
For Love reforms Vitality
Into Divinity. 

I just memorized this.. now I need to find a new one.