Friday, July 13, 2012


For the past week or so i've been really down. Which is very strange. So strange that I feel like it gives me a surge of anxiety. I've never had anxiety in my life! So that for one is also strange to me! But I can only come to the conclusion that it is anxiety... unless it's my digestive track acting up, which I can highly reassure you- very doubtful.
For the most part i've been down about small things. I've been thinking that I miss living at home. I miss seeing my Mom and Dad (which I do see them a lot now... I'm just a real big baby). I have been thinking of all money I could save if I didn't have a car payment, or rent. I hate my job- whoa whoa, before you start thinking, "what the heck?" let me rephrase that... I hate my job, for the mere and utter fact that I wish I could spend more time with my family.
Now, I like summer, yet I really want school to start (I don't mind school and I really love learning so I miss that aspect).

But every story has a twist to it. A happy ending. The so called climax. Some life changing, heart skipping moment. Right?
Well, I forced upon myself to find mine.

What is it that I found?
I found that i'm very blessed. That I live on my own and i'm fortunate enough to have the ability to be able to afford it. I'm proud when someone asks where I live, and I can reply with, "I live in Salt Lake in an apartment in the Avenues."
That, even though I don't see my family as much as I would like, that when I do see them I can cherish that moment more.
I'm blessed so much for a job that pays well enough that I can work two days a week (but I usually work more that two days..) and pay all my necessary bills.
It's sad that I have to remind myself of all the good in my life, because i'm usually to busy looking at the bad.

I would also like to note that I went swimming with my nieces' last week. those girls are a hoot. They even taught me to swim better (anyone that knows me, knows I'm not the best swimmer).
I'm perfectly fine with the idea of not ever having kids, because i'll just spoil my nieces and nephew. (:

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