Hi, I'm Kim...

Kimberlee Mee Yung Westover is my full legal name.
I'm 21 years old.
I have 1 sister and 2 brothers.
I'm a Libra, and I feel like it's fitting. I'm very balanced.
Sometimes I can't tell if i'm indecisive or just really passive.
Sometimes I can't tell if i'm shy or just anti-social.
For being so passive, I can be very stubborn.
I contradict myself frequently... as you can probably see.
I hate being woken up to someone vacuuming.. worst thing ever.
Growing up sucks, but I would stay in this stage forever if I could. going to school, monitoring my gas to make it last until my next pay check... I like that... to a certain point.
I've never been a worrier. I just go with the flow of things. I mean, I had little to no money when I moved away from home and no job but somehow everything always works out.
I don't watch tv, so I never know about tv series or what happened on the news.
I'm not a health freak, but I look at food labels like I am one.
I want THIS but in a guy form... and maybe a little less emotional.
I grew up in Brigham/Roy.
I moved around a lot when I was little, so I went to more schools than I can count.
I usually only hang out with males.
I way a very hateful preteen... maybe that's why I'm so 'timid' ish now.
Whenever the opportunity is presented to me to make a wish, I take it.
Im scared of the dark, but I can only sleep if it's pure darkness.. With a few exceptions.
I'm a momma's girl and a daddy's girl, the best of both worlds, eh?
I used to LOVE summer, but fall is starting to engulfing my heart.
I used to want to pursue a million things. Nursing, photography, pharmacy tech, become great at sewing, ect. Now I'm just in a stage where I don't know where to start.. or what to do..
My life goal is to become a Nurse Anesthetist though.
I'm a bookworm, but tend to read in spurts.
I'm not fancy. My clothes are simple, I don't pay money to get my nails done, I cut my own hair, and I dont take 2 hours to get ready.
I'm so ticklish that it's almost ridiculous.
I will own a husky malamute one day. I had one when I was little, and I will have one when I'm older.
I think cooking is fun... But eating is way more fun.
I'm a sucker for stupid love songs.
I love the colors periwinkle and yellow.
Im pretty timid, but if I want something- then ill get it.
When i'm older, I want to adopt a child. An older one. Like 3 or 5. One that received the short end of the stick, and give them a second chance.
I've never really been out of Utah that much.
I've never been to the ocean, Disney Land, or any of those other places.
I can't swim......................... that well.
Whenever I sleep, I have to have something covering me. Even if it's 100 degrees.
I hate wearing shoes.
I hate sleeping with socks on.
I like people with a great sense of humor.
Whenever I drive by myself, I try to get into a state where I just think and listen to music. I say try, because I'm usually just jamming out to music.. but I like the feeling of just thinking, listening to music, and driving.. i've never meditated, but I'm pretty sure that's how it feels.
It's hard for me to make my mind wonder.. I'm always too aware of my surroundings.
I've always wanted to travel to Nova Scotia... just because I hear people sing about it... okay twice, but Id still like to go there.
Oh, and also, my sense of direction is horrible.


..I guess this sums me up. Its taken me a while to even complete this little post. I hope I can figure more stuff out about myself and maybe do a continuation of this.

That time, again..

Sweeeeet  16 21 for me! If you know me, then you know I hate birthdays..
Well, I can verify that, yes, I still hate them. I just dread the thought of growing old. Maybe because i've worked in the medical field so long and I only see sick geriatric people, or maybe it's because I secretly don't ever want to die. I seriously would be content with living forever! Like that Disney movie, Tuck Everlasting (or some cheesy name like that). But, I guess this birthday was bittersweet. SOooo, I guess over-all, this birthday was one of the best.

Sorry this post is so late. I haven't had anytime to blog about anything. I figured I'd update the world, since I have nothing else to do while at work.. even though I should probably write some notes or finish an essay. All I do lately is work, sleep, read, procrastinate homework, and effortlessly try to submit assignments (on the day they are due, of course..). Let me just tell you, online school is hard. The classes are easy, but the whole motivate yourself to study and teach yourself everything is what is getting me.

I'm running away...

Don't take it personally, but It wouldn't even phase me to pack up in the middle of the night and never come back. To quit my job without notice, drop out of school, not say bye... I have no shame. Ive never been a good liar, so to say i wouldnt miss my family is a pretty big lie. I guess I can't run from all my problems, so I'll stick around for a little longer. I hate when certain people call me, I don't want anything to do with them and they just continually try to talk to me.. I mean really, just save yourself some dignity and leave me alone when I ask. I guess I could blame my parents for my lack of trust in relationships or lack of motivation for commitment... Or I can blame crazy ex's. He says my parents repeatedly getting married and divorced is why ... Or, maybe it's because people are controlling and overbearing. My life is pretty great right now though. I guess I shouldn't complain!! Well, that's enough of me complaining...
School started just as the calendar showed, I secretly was wishing there was some sort of typo and school would there for have to be delayed for a few more weeks, or months.. I'd take either or! I'm doing all my classes online. They're rather easy, just... I need to get into the habit of studying more. Ive had this insane craving for sushi, I even caught myself daydreaming about it... Who the heck daydreams about food? Semi skinny Asian girls do, I guess... (;
Parker moved into my room... But my rent went down to 140 so I'm not complaining. Im not home very often, but having roommates has helped me a lot. For the longest time I was pretty much the only child at home, so this is good experience for me hah.
Well, I've ran out of things to talk about, and I've sadly ran out of things to aid in my procrastination of my physiology homework.. So I guess the only option from here is...... Do my dang homework!

If death were a person

A million emotions have rushed through my body today. The main ones that stick out are: uncontrollably happy, a few pee your pants from laughing moments, even peaceful, but the one that is digging its claws in me, is hate. I feel like it's sitting on my chest, trying to use all its strength to collapse it. Might as well make a home on my shoulder. Better yet, maybe it should just nestle in  under my skin. Heck, I'm sure it expects a continental breakfast in the morning. Listen here. <I've been listening to this all day.

To start off, I had an extremely wonderful day! One of my baby nieces' turned 10 and whats a birthday without a party? Amiright? So, we did just that! PARTIED! She had a friend birthday party. There was cake, ice cream, limbo, presents, toss-the-tiki, pinata, music, the whole works. Man, I almost forgot what it was like to be 10 and not a care in the world. I almost forgot how exciting it is to receive a pink sea shell from a friend and almost cry from the overwhelming joy in my body. I almost forgot how fun it was to make up games to play (and boy, do I know the person to go to if I ever need help, a certain girl that just turned 10 today..). I almost forgot what it was like to collect the most random of objects and cherish them so much that only a select few individuals could set eyes on such objects. 

There should be a rule, that days like this can't be ruined. That the happiness should linger for the next 24 hours. Well, mine was cut short... Hey, at least I got to finish the party? Right?..

After things started to settle down. (Do things ever start settling down with 7 10year olds?)

My sister told me she had to tell me something. I really can't recall what was said. I just know I didn't process it at first. I didn't understand what she was saying, but instantly a lump started to form in my throat. Once I forced myself to understand, I was out the door and speeding down the street heading for I-15. 

She told me that my grandma was in the ER in Brigham City. They think she has spinal meningitis, and she only has less than 24 hours to live.

Now, I'm at the point where you are questioning why I'm full of hate, and not sadness. 

I'm full of hate because I loath death. If death were a person, we would not be on good terms. 

My grandma has a very big spot in my heart. She took care of me. When my parents got a divorce, she was the one that cooked me dinners, found rocks/seeds/bugs in my pockets while doing laundry, along with laundry- she folded my clothes perfectly (even at my young age I was amazed), bought me dresses, preped me for Jr. Peach Queen, meticulously did my hair, bought me socks with ruffles, disciplined me, put my blanket in the dryer before I went to bed, made sure to buy ice cream cones for me, let me play Lego's in her hair salon while she would "gossip" with the ladies, letting me help make raspberry jam/cheese balls/peppermint dessert with her, and her giving me gas money because she wanted me to come visit more. The biggest thing I'll never forget is, she loved me. When my parents were off being immature and stupid, she was there. Not only for me, but for my brothers too!

Sorry to cut this short. I'll finish it later. 

Oh, 

P.s. I am sad. I don't think I've cried so much in my life... 

Thomas Edison’s last words were ‘It’s very beautiful over there’. I don’t know where there is, but I believe it’s somewhere, and I hope it’s beautiful.

-John Green

Up to date...

Lately, I feel like time has been passing by way to fast. I mean, its already August and I feel like summer should at least be a month longer.. Listen Up.

So, a few random facts I want to jot down so I don't forget.

• The doctor that I'm totally in love with is back at the hospital. Where he went for two months, I have no idea... But, I saw him yesterday and I think I may have had a slight myocardial infarction.
• Some random person at the hospital pulled me aside and told me I was very pretty. Now, I feel awkward getting compliments from strangers. Add a stranger plus being pinned in a corner...
• Along with compliments, some person I was doing an ekg on looked at me and said, "OH, you have a beauty mark, it's cute." I hate it though. (I have a slight freckle on my face, like Marilyn Monroe, but not as dark- definitely not as dark or big- thank goodness!)
• The other day I hung out with my long lost friend, Mandy. It was nice to be around a person with mass amounts of estrogen in her body, rather than the testosterone filled guys I'm usually around.
• My birthday is approaching. Look out world!! If you know me, then you know I dread birthdays. I'm slightly excited for this one. I just want to have a big party and see all my friends.
• I've been finding that the littlest most random things make my day better. Blasting music and taking a shower (I may or may not sing and dance...), taking a late night run, receiving the cutest voicemail from my nephew, just listening to music while I drive, waking up early and reading my book, late night texting (I'm not the biggest texter, but I like hiding under my blankest and texting), and other weird things like that!

So the other day my cousin posted this. Click. It's her husbands blog. I really like the post he posted about.

Oh, I went camping a few weeks ago. This is the result from it.

Aren't they cute. My baby niece... well, she's grown up. 13 to be exact ):

I feel like it was just yesterday that she was a toddler and playing with all my things in my room. (which at the time annoyed me, but now I look back and I'm glad she did). I love how mature she is too. I also love listening to music with her, because she listens to the music that none of my friends listen to.. so I jam with her!

lately...

For the past week or so i've been really down. Which is very strange. So strange that I feel like it gives me a surge of anxiety. I've never had anxiety in my life! So that for one is also strange to me! But I can only come to the conclusion that it is anxiety... unless it's my digestive track acting up, which I can highly reassure you- very doubtful.
For the most part i've been down about small things. I've been thinking that I miss living at home. I miss seeing my Mom and Dad (which I do see them a lot now... I'm just a real big baby). I have been thinking of all money I could save if I didn't have a car payment, or rent. I hate my job- whoa whoa, before you start thinking, "what the heck?" let me rephrase that... I hate my job, for the mere and utter fact that I wish I could spend more time with my family.
Now, I like summer, yet I really want school to start (I don't mind school and I really love learning so I miss that aspect).

But every story has a twist to it. A happy ending. The so called climax. Some life changing, heart skipping moment. Right?
Well, I forced upon myself to find mine.

What is it that I found?
I found that i'm very blessed. That I live on my own and i'm fortunate enough to have the ability to be able to afford it. I'm proud when someone asks where I live, and I can reply with, "I live in Salt Lake in an apartment in the Avenues."
That, even though I don't see my family as much as I would like, that when I do see them I can cherish that moment more.
I'm blessed so much for a job that pays well enough that I can work two days a week (but I usually work more that two days..) and pay all my necessary bills.
It's sad that I have to remind myself of all the good in my life, because i'm usually to busy looking at the bad.

I would also like to note that I went swimming with my nieces' last week. those girls are a hoot. They even taught me to swim better (anyone that knows me, knows I'm not the best swimmer).
I'm perfectly fine with the idea of not ever having kids, because i'll just spoil my nieces and nephew. (:

lighten up

Some people take life to seriously and I will never fully understand why.
I guess lately I've been feeling that way... I dare say that i've felt a surge of anxiety here and there.

Update:
My new job is good. My favorite part is working in the Emergency Department. So much excitement.
(I get a lot of questions about my job, um, I basically save lives and openly provided with the opportunity to perform CPR- haha. Along with that, I hook up/analyze ekg's, inpatient/outpatient, enroll heart monitors and place them, listen to Pandora a lot, check my Facebook, and hangout with some of the coolest co-workers ever).
My apartment doesn't have AC... need I say more?
I've been looking at new cars. Nothing to serious, I just really want a new one. :p
I've been in the cooking/baking mood.
I have started a dozen books.
I have taken up a dozen hobbies.




p.s. I changed the name of my blog. I felt like this one was more appropriate for where I am.